Being alone can be difficult at times, but learning to appreciate this time can be one of the most important lessons we learn
Lonely is a word that is often used negatively, it comes with certain connotations and normally isn't viewed positively. Learning to be alone and develop our independence is a skill that's crucial to our development and can have numerous perks ranging from productivity to concentration.
Why should I develop independence?
Whether we like it or not, we all have to be alone at points in our lives, but that doesn't mean it's bad! Whether you see your friends 3 times during the week and aren't sure what to do with yourself the other two nights or if you find you have a lot of spare time at the weekends, learning to develop independence can really make that downtime a positive experience.
What can I gain?
We can often feel as though our downtime is a waste of time. What do you do with yourself? Are you lonely? Should you be doing something else, being productive? In short, no! Being alone and using your time independently is a skill, it allows us to enjoy our time and not only this, but by learning to be with yourself you'll discover more about yourself that can help you develop and love yourself!
How do I develop independence?
This part is the hard part. This can really depend on the person and we all have different desires for socialising and how much of it we need. Some people are more comfortable alone whilst others need to be around people more frequently. The idea of this blog isn't to help you be alone all the time, but to help you feel okay about that time you do spend by yourself. There is nothing wrong with being around others, socialising lots and surrounding yourself with great people, in fact, that's good, but we're here to try and help make your downtime an enriching and positive experience.
- Go guilt-free: Being alone is not a bad thing! We can sometimes feel like we should be doing something else when not being productive, not with others or not achieving, but understanding that spending time alone and developing your independence is productivity itself, don't feel bad for taking time.
- Who are you?: This is where developing your independence can really pay off, it has the ability to help you find yourself. Take some time to have no plans, set aside an hour or two, what do you naturally end up doing? What are you drawn to when you have nothing to do? Do you pick up a pen and write? Do you watch fun videos? Maybe you start drawing, use this time to figure out what it is you enjoy doing when you have the time.
- Take your time: This is no quick fix and you can't develop your independence in a couple of hours. Keep checking back in on yourself, set aside time for YOU and see where that goes, start to get used to your time alone and you'll start to see how it's beneficial to your and your development.
- What do you WANT to do: With your extra time you might find yourself going back to habits, maybe you watch YouTube or head to TikTok, and that can be okay, but what is it you WANT to be doing. Do you want to write a book? Maybe you want to learn the piano, design a book cover or make a comic strip? Would you perfect a dance routine? Doing these things takes a lot of time, but you can use your alone time to develop your skills, chase something you love and learn something new, that's positive!
GO! Be alone, spend time with yourself, discover yourself. Take it one step at a time, start reading a book, write 50 words, draw an image, but most importantly... Be with yourself and feel great about it. Being alone and loving it is a skill we can all master, and one we can all afford, once you've got this down you'll have amazing times awaiting you.